it is very hard to write cover letters or make plans for the future or, like, wear clean tights, when you are actually not a human being but really are just a shapeless non-sentient mass of angst and nail polish and boy band lyrics.
Do you ever wish your text messages were saved by category? Like, “texts sent during my high-on-ambien era”. Or “texts sent after 4 drinks”. I’d like to relive those moments.
Really dude? A baguette AND a cucumber? I think he might be trying to say something…but I can’t really put my finger on it….
Will someone bring me a mountain dew Baja blast? But like, it has to be from a fountain and preferably I would like the whole fountain oh and also the taco bell it came in.
I guess you’ve never really lived until you’ve taken a nap in a utility closet with a bag of potato chips after one too many tequila shots.
Up side: free drinks all night from my bartender boyfriend.
Down side: Swiss people listening to Limp Bizkit like its cool.
I’m so hungry I think I’m actually gonna cry. Also, I’m stuck on a fucking train to the airport and there is a burger waiting for me to eat it, at home. Life fucking sucks.
WHY MY SWISS LANDLADY REFUSES TO KNOCK WHEN SHE ENTERS MY APARTMENT!?